I'm married!

By Marjorie

You know that feeling of anxiety, the one that sits in your stomach like a fluttering butterfly, or the one that gives you a heightened sense awareness and makes you feel as though you put one too many shots of espresso in your morning latte?

After having that feeling for four months straight, it is finally gone.

Seventeen days ago, I kissed that feeling goodbye and instead, kissed my new husband for the first time, dolled up in a wedding dress that fit perfectly, standing next to the most amazing and handsome man in the world.

“I now introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Tyler Simoens.”

My life changed once those 10 words were uttered from the officiant’s mouth; months of stress were gone, butterflies were flapping like crazy in my stomach, but for all the right reasons, and my love for Tyler exploded into a feeling I never thought was possible.

I was married!

This was the moment I had been dreaming about since I was a little girl, and it just happened; the glory, the bliss, the life-high were indescribable, and the moment stood still.

All the months of planning and the stress of trying to make everything perfect were a challenge that, at that moment, reaped the biggest reward of my life.

The ceremony plays back in my head, over and over, and the vows are engraved in my heart. Somehow, Tyler managed to escape saying our vows with just watery eyes, whereas I could barely manage my quivering lip, and eventually, the tears began to roll down my cheeks.

Everything was so much more emotionally charged than I had ever anticipated. The rings, the “I do’s,” and everything in between made me feel as though I was in fairy tale and I was the princess.

The feeling has yet to subside, and I’m not sure it ever will.

It’s incredible how much more your heart can grasp on to someone else’s after those words are spoken and you essentially become one person. My love for Tyler grew exponentially that day, and I have a feeling it’s never going to stop growing.

Accessorize!

By Sarah

You found the perfect dress, put in your order, and now you just have to wait six months until it arrives. Right?

Actually I was amazed by how many other things you need to complete a wedding outfit. I’m not just talking earrings and shoes, but also slips, sashes, shawls, bras and purses.

First of all, make sure you budget for all these accessories because they add up quickly. Then start shopping even before you try on wedding dresses for the first time. Here’s a rundown of some of the accessories you’ll need to consider:

Underneath:

Most bridal boutiques provide the bra and slip (the big poofy kind) for you to try on with dresses, which you can usually purchase. But, you may want to go to a lingerie shop to at least get fitted for a bra or bustier beforehand to ensure that it fits right. Bring it with you when you try on dresses.

Shoes:

Not only should they be comfortable, but you also want to make sure the height of the heal works with the length of your dress. I recommend ordering a couple of pairs of shoes of varying height (check the return policy first) before your first dress fitting and see which pair works the best. My biggest mistake was buying a $100 pair of shoes that I couldn’t return and finding out they were an inch too short for the dress. It is cheaper to get the right height of shoe than alter your dress. Also note that Des Moines has a very limited selection of bridal shoes, so expand your search online.

Bling:

Before you go out and buy expensive earrings or a necklace, raid your mother’s or grandmother’s jewelry chest to see if you can find an embellished gem. You may discover a broach that can make a cool hair accessory or some diamond earrings that will match your fancy dress without you paying a dime. Or see if you can borrow items from your friends who have already gotten married, especially a veil, which can cost more than $100. Most wedding jewelry is more over-the-top than you’d normally wear, so it’s better to borrow than spend for just one day.

Another tip: Try on your accessories with your dress to make sure they match. Just because a piece of jewelry is covered in diamonds and pearls doesn’t mean it will work with the total outfit. I’m also not a big fan of wearing too much jewelry – just earrings – so that you don’t compete with your dress.

Other ideas:

Consider tying an elegant sash in the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses around your waist.

Buy a delicate shawl to wear outside if your wedding is in a colder month.

Don’t forget a little purse to hold essentials such as makeup, pins and tissues.

Mixing of heritage

By Sarah

Getting married is like Christmas Day over and over again. Engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties and the wedding itself leave you and your husband with carloads full of fancy new gifts that transform your home from college-dorm living into something fit for dinner parties and picky family members.

But despite the gorgeous Oriental rug that adorns our living room, the artistic platters that decorate our bookshelves and a kitchen full of state-of-the-art appliances, the best gifts we received were the little things. A guest book with handmade notes that my mom asked our closest friends to create and send ahead of the wedding. A girls’ night a couple of months before the wedding. Albums filled with Tony and my childhood photos.

Looking back now, the most memorable was a recipe book.

Again my mom came up with the idea and enlisted maybe a hundred family members and friends in her scheme. As a few of us gathered for a kitchen-themed shower, she presented me with the plain recipe binder thick with index cards people had sent in.

My Great-Grandma Miller’s gravy recipe now in the hands of the fourth generation, Tony’s Aunt Nancy’s famous Italian beef and the egg casserole we used to devour at team breakfasts after swim practice. There were notes, too, one of which explained that the recipes a friend contributed had won her husband’s heart (or at least his stomach). Another was from Tony’s great-aunt, which said her grandson used to enjoy the dish before he moved to Japan. There was even an adorable photo of Tony, as a child, sitting on top of the fridge.

All of it was compiled, our heritage through food, and mixed together to create something greater.

Now food-stained and worn, the book has proved useful many times in coming up with an impressive dish for a party or a last-minute dinner. But more important, it is a constant reminder of our foundation – the coming together of two families – and the new traditions, memories and recipes melded together in the index cards still to be written.

Check yes or no

By Marjorie

I never realized how important an RSVP card is until now, when I am less than one week away from the big day and the caterers are crawling down my back wanting a final head count for dinner.

To date, I have yet to receive formal RSVPs from nearly half of the people who received invitations. And not only did I provide the RSVP and the return stamp, but I even designed it into a postcard so it could be easily slipped into the mail.

However, to my dismay, half of my bridal party, nearly all of my siblings, and even a few cousins, have failed to drop the little postcard in the mail. Furthermore, the only people who have sent RSVPs are those who plan on attending, leaving very few who have “declined with regret.”

So in response to the lack of returned RSVPs, my theory stands that even if an invited guest is unable to attend, it is common courtesy to drop the RSVP in the mail and inform the soon-to-be-married couple of your regretful absence. By doing this, you’ll help the bride and groom more adequately and accurately budget for the reception.

And for those who plan on attending, inform the bride and groom of how many people will be attending in your party. Yes, a simple check mark next to the “accept with pleasure” is nice, but a number tells so much more – like the amount of food the caterer needs to cook and, in the end, how much the reception is going to cost.

Yet, in light of my hypocrisy, I stop my ranting.

I throw my hands up in the air and surrender to those who have not RSVP’d, because I, too, am that person that fails to RSVP. I am the person past brides have bickered about, and I am sure I have thrown off a few head counts in my day.

But I promise that from here on out, I will send back every RSVP that comes my way, whether it’s marked “2 accept with pleasure” or “2 decline with regret.” I pledge that I will no longer be “that person.”