A table for 50, please

By Marjorie

My fiancé’s father has been asking me for months what our plans are for rehearsal dinner. And for months, I have told him that the next time I see him, I will have a better idea. Needless to say, I still don’t have a plan, and my future father-in-law is still waiting.

So with pressure from my fiancé to “hurry up and pick something,” I have finally begun to weigh my options. However, with more than 50 people attending our rehearsal, and a picky bride-to-be, it’s just not that simple.

When planning to feed a large group the night before an extremely special day, I want to make sure my food selection and venue are perfect for the occasion, just as you should do. Some things that I have noticed, which I personally think are very important when planning a rehearsal dinner, are:

Ambience: Is there soft lighting, with dinner music humming in the background, or is there harsh overhead lighting with karaoke in the back corner?

Space: Will there be enough room for the children to run around and not feel confined, or will we be clustered in a claustrophobic party room?

Comfort: While we’re handing out gifts and making announcements, will the whole restaurant be gawking or we will be comfortably speaking only to our guests?

Food: Will the food fill the guests and leave them feeling pleasant the next day, or will my groom be regretting his overload on gourmet Mexican? Do I want to cater food, or go to a restaurant and have my guests choose?

Drinks: Will I provide a certain amount of free drinks to my guests, and will those drinks include alcoholic beverages?

I could keep the options going and weigh them for eternity, but with my wedding exactly 75 days from today, I don’t really have that option. So, with my indecisiveness taking a back seat and my “hurry up and pick something” fiancé winning the battle, I have promised my father-in-law-to-be that I will have a concrete answer for him by the end of the week.

Let’s hope I stick to my word.

Bring on the food

By Sarah

Picking a caterer was more of an afterthought. We already had a great reception site, and the person who rented it, John Maher, also had a successful catering service (with stories, such as serving a U.S. president). Why not go with him?

But what I didn’t realize was that we still had a lot of decisions to make. I had assumed we would have a buffet dinner, because that’s what I had experienced at weddings before. But suddenly Maher was suggesting things, such as serving heavy hors d’oeurves instead of a full dinner and having less chairs than guests to encourage people to mingle. His ideas seemed gutsy. Would the older guests respond favorably? Would people have enough to eat?

One by one he washed away these false notions with solutions, such as having a waitress serve guests who couldn’t walk around easily and having a wait staff bring around trays of food in addition to setting up food stations around the room so people would feel comfortable eating a full meal.

I also realized that what bothers me about most weddings is being confined to a table with the same guests for most of the night. The hors d’oeurves concept let guests catch up with more than just a handful of people. The noise level was higher and people stayed longer.

The only downside: Tony and I had maybe two bites of food the entire night. It was a worthwhile tradeoff.

Here are a few things to consider when looking at food options for the reception:

1. Think about what kind of catering service you want while choosing your reception site. Most sites come with their own chef and you will be confined to their abilities. While Maher offered creative ideas, another site we looked at didn't get the hors d’ourves concept. In fact, the planner way underestimated the amount of food we would need!

2. Get a realistic menu up front that includes a variety of options, especially for vegetarians. Stress, especially with the hors d’ourves-style meal, that you need enough food to fill your guests.

3. Talk about food options and ask for samples ahead of time. Actually, we never tried Maher’s food beforehand, but just the way he described his craft made us realize that he took a lot of pride in his work and wouldn’t follow prescribed recipes.

4. Get a price estimate up front, which includes costs beyond food, such as wait staff wages and supplies. Keep in mind that having a hors d’ourves-style meal, especially if the foods are more creative than traditional appetizers, may be comparable to a three-course sit-down meal.

5. Take into account tips for the wait staff. Sometimes these are built into your contract. Otherwise, it’s about 10 to 15 percent of food and drink (labor costs only) and $20 to $25 per bartender. Usually the owner of the catering business doesn’t expect a tip, but a thank you note that can be used as a testimonial is appreciated.

6. Plan on having snacks left out all night. After a few drinks and plenty of dancing, some guests might need a little nourishment before heading home.

7. Have someone deliver food to where you and your husband will stay that night or ask for a take-out bag from the caterer. You’ll probably be starving by then!

8. Complement the head chef by putting his name by the menu choices in the invitations or in a framed menu by one of the food stations at the reception. Ask permission first.

Little moments

By Marjorie

Having a “moment” with your fiancé is important. It’s that moment when all of your worries and doubts fly out the window and you are given the reassurance deep in your heart that this person is your best friend and soulmate. These moments should be captured as they happen, cherished forever and appreciated for what they are.

And for me, there is one moment that stands out above the rest.

It was just a few weeks after our engagement and Tyler had come into town to visit me for the weekend. Unfortunately, I had a Saturday morning meeting and had to rush across town just to make it there in time. With my stomach nearly eating away at itself, I sent Tyler a text message telling him how extremely hungry I was.

Knowing that I would be home in under an hour, Tyler took it upon himself to surprise me with a breakfast feast for two, complete with eggs, bacon, French toast and fruit.

Unaware of the banquet that awaited me, it didn’t take too long for me to discover that it had gone terribly wrong.

Opening the door to the apartment building, I immediately started to smell something burning. The stench got stronger as I approached my apartment door, and much to my surprise, there was smoke billowing out from under my door. I panicked!

I swung the door open, and there was Tyler in a cloud of smoke; standing there in his boxers with a blackened frying pan full of crisp bacon in one hand and a pan of charcoaled eggs in the other. I was in a loss for words.

And that’s when I had my moment.

Seeing the look on his face and the burnt food in the frying pans, I knew he wanted this surprise breakfast to be a success more than anything. He sheepishly put the pans down and explained to me that he was just trying to make my morning better. But little did he know he had just made my whole week.

Seeing all the effort he put into that breakfast made me realize that this man would do anything for me – even burn down an apartment building. His boyish grin and failed cooking efforts were adorable.

Needless to say, I captured this moment and definitely appreciate it for what it was.

Next time your fiancé has a “moment,” capture it, appreciate it and reminisce about it months later – it’ll remind you of how simple love really is.

Picking a florist

By Sarah Bzdega

Finding the right florist is like looking for Mr. Right. OK, it’s not as if you’re going to marry the person. But it is someone you will work closely with over the next few months to make your wedding’s realty match your vision. Many also serve the role of decorator and for a handsome fee will help set up the entire scene.

My mother and I went on four “dates” with people from different flower shops. The first woman smiled, nodded at everything I said, and then when I looked around the room, I realized everything she had was way more elaborate and glamorous than the casual and rustic wedding I wanted. Another florist never got back to me with an estimate – even after we talked for more than an hour and she assured me she would call in a week. Another was close to matching my vision, but didn’t quite have the spark I was looking for.

Then, at our last appointment, I found Heather of Heather’s Secret Garden. I knew I had found the right person when we started off talking about triathlons. When we finally dove into flowers, she didn’t just nod her head with approval. She offered suggestions and drew out a design to see if she understood what I was saying. She just got it!

Her laid-back personality may have made my always-on-top-of-things mother a bit nervous, but I loved her creative and fun ideas and found it refreshing after spending so much time dealing with tedious to-do lists. We spent a couple of evenings sorting through decorations my mom had lying around her house or walking through Sticks, our reception site, playing with concepts. And when I finally walked into the room on our wedding day, it wasn’t exactly how I imagined. But it was stunning!

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when searching for a florist:

• Set up an appointment beforehand and plan on about one hour per meeting.
  

• Have an idea of what you want before you get there. Florists want to hear your ideas before they take artistic license. My mom and I flipped through several books beforehand and brought in pictures to show what concepts we liked.
  

• Trust the experts. They have been through many weddings before and might have ideas you hadn’t thought of or good advice, such as two flower arrangements on either end of the altar look better than one giant piece in the middle. The final scene will never be exactly what you first envision, but it should still be impressive.
  

• Unless you have a family member whose style you love and whose work ethic you admire, find a florist who will set up the decorations and flowers for you. It will cost more, but setting it up yourself will be way more work than you imagine.
  

• Save money by using decorations you already have, such as a wreath or candlesticks. We also rented some candleholders and table displays from Puttin' on the Ritz.
  
  
• Ask for an estimate before committing. (Keep in mind, flowers and decor can cost a fortune, way into the thousands!) The florist should have an estimate within two weeks of your meeting.