In-laws 101

By Marjorie

One thing that comes with the nuptials is the inheritance of in-laws. And for my husband, he has inherited five sisters-in-law and a brother-in-law, a clan that is young, rambunctious and tight-knit.

This type of family (my family) is one that would scare off a lot of potential mates, but Tyler definitely took the bull by the horns and made himself right at home. And for me, this was a big step.

When family is a top priority, as it is for me and Tyler, it’s extremely important to find a partner who not only accepts your family, but enjoys their company and won’t mind tolerating them for the rest of his or her life. After all, every holiday and every major event from marriage on will be surrounded with in-laws.

And when looking back, Tyler and I learned our lesson about in-laws long before we said our “I do’s,” and I recall the moment as if it were yesterday.

It was New Year’s Eve last year. Tyler and I were playing a game with his little sister and his dad when the ultimate question arose. Tyler’s dad asked him, “Whose side do you take if Marjorie and Mom disagree on something?”

Tyler thought about it.

He looked at me cautiously, and then looked at his dad yearning for advice, or at least an indicator that would suggest the right answer. Then the silence broke, and Tyler squealed, “Mom’s.”

My eyes bulged in dismay, Tyler’s dad burst out laughing and his sister sat in silence.

In an attempt to explain, or redeem, himself, Tyler stammered, “Well, we aren’t married yet and until we are… I mean… I guess it would depend on the situation.… What’s wrong with saying Mom?”

This was our first lesson on in-laws.

My future father-in-law explained to Tyler that there are some things that change after marriage and suggested that Tyler rethink his statement or else he’ll be in for a world of surprise.

Now I wouldn’t take it that far, but we did learn a valuable piece of advice that day: No matter the circumstances, always take your spouse’s side if he or she disagrees with your family. After marriage your spouse needs your support and you need to be the No. 1 supporter.

However, I did agree with my father-in-law over Tyler last New Year’s Eve when he suggested Tyler rethink his answer, and I still question whether Tyler would take my side or his mom’s.