Clashing realities

By Marjorie

Getting lost in the chaos of wedding planning can make you forget about what’s really important: the simple things and the real people that matter most in life. But this past weekend, I took a step back, put things in perspective and realized that for both Tyler and me, it’s family that matters the most.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Tyler found out that his grandfather had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and given just six months to live. Being the oldest grandson and still having all of his grandparents, Tyler was devastated.

Here we were, planning the best day of our life – our wedding – and at the same time, having to preparing for something awful – the loss of a grandparent.

The clashing of those two realities quickly put things in perspective and made me realize that all the insignificant details I’ve been preoccupied with mean nothing when compared with having his grandpa there with us on our wedding day.

So this past weekend, Tyler and I found ourselves in his grandfather’s company, spending time with him before it’s too late.

Learning about his childhood and how he was one of 13 children, hearing the story about how he proposed to his wife and at the same time discovered his mother was pregnant, and hearing over and over how proud he is of his family, the stories went on.

This is one man who has definitely lived a full life and has reaped the benefits of a 50-year marriage. He has eight children, 14 grandchildren and an acre of land he bought back in the ’80s that he planned to build his dream home on.

“I’m a lucky man,” he said standing in the kitchen with just Tyler and me. “I’ll be 69 if I make it to November.”

Hearing those words made everything set in, and the reality hit us pretty hard. The entire fret about the invitations and the arguments about the rehearsal dinner are simple things that have no value when compared with family.

So with a few more laughs, tears and a big hug goodbye, his grandpa said with a wink, “Hopefully I’ll see you at the wedding.”

Hopefully.